With my crumpets and heels in one hand and Fanta in the other, I decided to let that wee flow as discreetly as possible. So with the security guard, manager and checkout guy all within ten feet of me, I carried out what I thought was the only viable option left. It was 2am and I was crouching down in the dog food aisle with no shoes on. And it was happening now.Īt this point I had three options: I could leave immediately, find some bushes outside and do my business I could go right here in this aisle, which although a public place, I currently had to myself or, option number three, I could attempt the impossible feat of reversing a waterfall, proceed to the counter and buy my desperately needed items, risking the very real possibility I would wet myself in front of a security guard and terrified staff member. I even tried that subtle manoeuvre of pretending I was looking at something on the bottom shelf so I could crouch down and try to use my foot as some kind of plug, but to no avail.
#Most embarrassing moments peed free#
(And again, if the story includes me being drunk, feel free to assume the word ‘bed’ means ‘toilet’.) But it got worse. I ignored it at first, and continued with the more pressing decision of which fizzy drink I should buy and cuddle up with in bed. Like my bladder was suddenly, and out of nowhere, overflowing to the point where it had decided to start pushing out liquid whether I agreed or not. It was somewhere between deciding on the crumpets but still not sure about the Fanta that I got the feeling. I then proceeded to aimlessly wander the aisles for 20 minutes. I sauntered through that entrance like I was walking a red carpet. The fact I was carrying my heels instead of wearing them and one of my false lashes was dangling off my face also didn’t register with me. Of course, drunk brain assumed he was staring at me because I looked fabulous, and that put a pretty confident spring in my step. It was pretty close to closing time, and I must have looked an absolute mess because the security guard stared me down with a worried/puzzled look on his face. I can’t remember the exact details, but what I do know is this: at some point during that five-minute walk, I ended up in Coles looking for crumpets and Fanta. And everybody knows that when walking home from a big night, drunk brain takes over regular brain and leads the body towards food instead of home. What my boyfriend didn’t count on was there being a Coles between Point A and Point B. So off I trotted, heels in hand, headed towards a warm bed (by which I obviously mean the crawl space next to the toilet). I was at a party within walking distance of my house, and I managed to convince my boyfriend that I could get from said party to my bedroom on my own with no hassles or delays. I hadn’t yet built up the kind of tolerance that comes from the regular consumption of cheap vodka and even cheaper wine. Granted, I was a little (very) intoxicated. I never heard from that boy again.When I was 18, I peed my pants in Coles. The most embarrassing moment or thing that ever happened to me was: peeing my pants at the zoo in front of my 1st grade crush, then having to purchase and wear safari pants for the rest of the day. The Rice team I like to watch play their sport: baseball My favorite sport besides soccer is: football The best soccer advice I ever had was: "Anticipate the anticipation." The person or people who got me interested in soccer was: My dad My favorite moment of my soccer career so far: Notching a goal and an assist in my first Rice soccer game ever! One person (non athlete) I would like to meet is: Sean Penn One athlete (non soccer player) I would like to meet is: Ladainian Tomlinson What I like most about college life, or specifically college life at Rice, is: living so close to Swirl and Chocolate Bar!
I chose to attend Rice because: the academics, the surrounding big city, and the soccer. This is how I spent my summer vacation.: Working out, playing soccer, interning at a law firm, and soaking in the San Diego sunshine! My favorite class at Rice is: Public Speaking My favorite meal at the Rice servery is: cinnamon rolls! (drool) My pet peeve is: People who walk too slowly in front of me My favorite book or author is: "A Tale of Two Cities " My favorite CD or music artist is: Bob Marley My favorite soccer player is: Craig Waibel The nickname my teammates call me is: Annie
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